Showing posts with label hulu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hulu. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

If Sony Pictures was Honest About Streaming (Geeks Welcome Fan Script)

I thought of another script, this time it's Sony dunking on all the major streaming services. Ian, feel free to use any jokes in a future video (just give me some credits). I also don't know how accurate everything is, it's mostly just to make fun of current streaming nonsense.

Open on a well composed, rather cocky and jovial man.

Hi, I'm Tony Vinciquerra, head of Sony Pictures, the same company that makes the Spiderverse and Hotel Transylvania movies, and TV shows like Seinfeld and Married with Children, and golden age short subjects like The Three Stooges, in fact we have quite a large catalog of media that people enjoy. So much so that many people ask me why Sony doesn't have a dedicated streaming service like everyone else. I mean, it's all the rage to lock your own content behind a proprietary streaming service because people love your library so much. But it seems like everyone's forgetting that we were actually one of the first companies to try that kind of business model with Crackle back in the day, and I'm going to be honest with you, there's no money in streaming and it's far more profitable to just sell your stuff to the idiots who are doing streaming.

See back in the days of the PSP we bought a user generated video platform called grouper because we could see this was going to be big, then we got rid of all the low quality user generated stuff and used the infrastructure to launch a streaming site for our own movies and TV shows while changing the name to crackle, because that made sense. Who cares about low quality cat videos, people want real production value, this user generated content thing isn't going to last.

But you know, people wanted to watch all the old Godzilla movies we had in our library, and married with children, and astro boy, and voltron, and it was better they watch them on our platform where we got ad revenue instead of pirating on youtube. But this did offer a new avenue of content possibilities. This was the internet, there aren't any censors, and a lot of people had these great ideas for short series that would be perfect for this new frontier. We gave David Faustintino a million dollars to make this web series called Star-Ving, where it shows a fictionalized depiction of his failed career after Married with Children, and it did pretty well for a 13 episode web series with lengths of 5-15 minutes. Years later we gave Jerry Seinfeld a couple million dollars to make another short web series where he hangs out with fellow comedians in a car, creatively titled "Comedians in Cars." We also tried our hand at making some low budget movies like Joe Dirt 2 and Woke Up Dead. For all these projects we had to keep the budget down low because it was pretty obvious we were going to struggle to make our money back. I mean, who would put tens of millions of dollars behind a cinema quality production that's going strait to streaming, [zoom cut with translucent Disney logo] that'd be stupid.

Speaking of the PSP, a great thing about crackle was that you were able to watch it on your PSP, we even kind of built crackle with the PSP in mind. Of course we also made crackle available on the PS3, that new Roku device, early smart phones, and of course computers. What did you think we were going to limit our potential customers to just the Sony ecosystem? [Zoom cut with a translucent quibi logo], what idiot would think that was a good idea?

Over the years with Crackle we kind of let a lot of the originals fall out of the rotation and off the face of the earth. We already made our money back on them, it wasn't that big an investment, and nobody but those weirdos on the Lost Media Wiki cared about Star-Ving and the other crackle original minisodes. It had ran it's course and had fallen into obscurity so it wasn't a big deal that these went lost for the longest while since nobody cared about it anymore. If people actually wanted to watch it we would have made it available somewhere. [Zoom cut with translucent HBO logo] because it'd be stupid to make something unwatchable that people actually want to watch.

Fun fact Star-Ving was lost for a while until Pokematic, the writer of this script, made an article on the lost media wiki.

But then there was stuff like Joe Dirt 2 that people were actually interested in watching. So what'd we do? We made it available on DVD and Blu-Ray and licensed it out to cable TV channels and other streamers like Hulu and Netflix. [Zoom cut] what did you think we'd make something exclusive to our unsuccessful streaming platform and then make it disappear forever instead of trying to make money off of it somewhere else more successful? [Zoom cut even closer with a translucent WB logo] No one's that dumb.

But anyway we got out of the streaming business a long time ago because it was just too much work. Even though we have culturally significant classic works like the 3 stooges and seinfeld, it's so much easier to just license that out to existing streaming services instead of trying to build our own. [Zoom cut with a transparent peacock logo on it] I mean, who'd make an entire streaming service and hope that by making their flagship series exclusive to said service it would bring customers over? People just aren't going to watch it now and it's going to fall out of the public consciousness. That's a stupid idea.

It's also so much easier because we don't have to worry about exclusivity and brand cheapening. We made a TV cartoon of our flagship movie franchise Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, it's original run was on Cartoon Network but then Paramount Plus had it for streaming. It didn't matter to us because the check cleared both times, and they didn't care because they were just licensing it from us. It's not like the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs series was some cartoon network production that then started airing on the nickelodeon streaming service. [Zoom cut with a translucent south park logo] how ridiculous would it be if you weren't able to host your own flagship series because of some exclusivity deal with another streaming network? That would be peak insanity right there.

To be fair, streaming is very popular. No one under the age of 40 has cable anymore, [as a name is listed add the logo] it's just netflix, and hulu, and disney plus, and max, and peacock, and amazon prime, and apple tv plus, and tubi, and pluto, and freevie, and roku channel, and paramount plus, and crackle under new ownership, and how is this easier than cable? Oh what do I care, they're all paying me to either license my stuff or make new stuff for them. Disney wanted to have the Toby Parker and Andrew Parker spiderman movies on Disney Plus because of the No Way Home plot line, and Amazon wanted their own Hotel Transylvania movie, and I don't care if either are successful because I'm getting paid either way.

[Alternate joke about it being cable 2.0]

No it's not, it's the a la cart cable service everyone has been asking for for years. If this was cable you'd have to subscribe to paramount plus and Netflix to get Disney plus, now you can just subscribe to what you want. If there's a single show you want to watch on peacock, then subscribe for a month, watch it all in that month, and then cancel. If it's getting drip fed out, then just wait for it to finish and binge it all at once. [Zoom cut] what loser would constantly pay for something they aren't always using. Prove to mister I like money Netflix you're not an idiot who will keep paying regardless of how slow they make stuff. [Zoom cut back] what it's not profitable to have people subscribe for 1 month out of the year and have a constantly rotating set of subscriptions. [Zoom cut with a dramatic pause] hahahahha now do you see why I got out of the streaming business?

The streaming wars, the only winners are those that don't compete.

Saturday, November 11, 2023

The Dishonest Marketing of Mug Club (Video and Sources)

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LWC Exclusive, Nashville Trans Shooter Manifesto Leaked
8:24 - We're PG13+ and always say so
48:40 - Or you could watch Cuties on Netflix
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Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Rambling about The Business of Streaming Services

Hello and welcome to "pokematic rambles in what would be a podcast if I could get my thoughts together." I am your host, pokematic. So streaming services, every media company seems to have one now adays, and it's very much "self select cable but cheaper." Is it sustainable? Is it a ripoff? Are there too many providers? Is it cable 2.0? What even is the proper business model? How does this fit into the world of television? I'm going to try to answer some of these with my own opinion.

First, some history. Many people would star with netflix introducing streaming or the launch of hulu in 2007, maybe the rampant TV piracy on youtube in 2004, but I'm going to start earlier than that, a lot earlier. The turn of the 20th century saw the introduction of projected motion pictures, where people would go to movie houses to watch a feature film, news reel, short subject, and/or animation. These would then be played on a loop where people would come in whenever and leave after watching the loop. Here we saw the rise of media production companies like Columbia and Warner Brothers, where they would make the movies, shorts, and animations for the movie houses, where they would send the film reels to the movie houses on a weekly basis. Since movie houses would only need 4 films a week studios had urgency to make content, but a lot could be made "in parallel" since one week they could send a Tarzan serial while the monster movie was in production, and then work on slapstick comedy movie while the monster movie was in rotation, and after enough was produced they could send some old movies back to the movie houses for the people that missed it the first time or just want to see it again.

The 1950 then saw the advent of television, a "personal motion picture" event. In general television replaced the need for movie houses to show short subjects, animations, and news reels, leaving just the feature films. Since directors were experimenting with continuous narrative movies, where people would just come in at the beginning and leave at the end instead of coming in part way through, movie houses still had their business, but back to television. The question of "what do we show on this new thing called television" was the primary question. This was back when there were only 2-3 major stations with maybe a local independent station, and only broadcasted 12-16 hours a day, but there still had to be things for people to watch. Since people could watch every day of the week for possibly more than 2.5 hours straight, they couldn't just loop the same 4 things all week. Lucky for the broadcasters, there was half a century of theatrical shorts and animations that could be played on this television. This could easily fill 10 of the broadcast hours, but people eventually would get bored of these and new content would be necessary. This is when we started getting television shows such as I Love Lucy and The Andy Griffith Show, along with soap operas and variety shows. When television started broadcasting 24 hours a day and more networks started popping up, the older television shows could be shown again. I don't know the exact ratios, but it would probably be 5-10% new content and 90-95% acquired content.

While broadcast television was all well and good, there were plenty of limitations with range and reception, which saw the invention of cable television. Cable started with transmitting the main broadcast networks with consistent reception for a fee, and while that is good there needed to be something else, a benefit for paying for this service. This is when we saw the invention of cable television channels, channels that can only be received from a cable subscription. This really started to take off in the 70s and 80s, and like with early television the question of "what do we put on these channels" came up. Once again, the creators went to what already existed. 50 years of theatrical content and 20-30 years of television history, with a lot that wasn't being reaired on the broadcast channels since they had a backlog of their own content, that's plenty to show, and there could be dedicated networks to different things. Want children's programs, there was Nickelodeon. Want music videos, there was MTV. While people definitely enjoyed watching old sitcoms and saturday morning cartoons, they needed their own shows to stay relevant, and so they made their own original programming as they grew larger, but probably also kept 5-10% original and 90-95% rerun.

Now we get to the part of history that I witnessed first hand, the rise of streaming. In 2007 netflix introduced on demand streaming and hulu launched, and those were basically the 2 games in town. Netflix had a giant library of content commercial free for $8 a month, including previous seasons of major shows like Futurama and South Park, and hulu had a smaller ad-supported library with next day streaming of major shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons for free. Since I didn't have a credit or debit card I was kind of limited to hulu, but there was plenty on it that I wanted (Inspector Gadget, Super Mario Super Show, Sitting Ducks, and loads of anime). Back then it was 100% acquired content (since hulu was owned by the networks that did next day streaming "acquired" is a bit of a loose term, but it wasn't "first run on hulu).

One of the problems hulu and netflix had were they would lose the license for various shows, so if a popular show left the platform viewers didn't really have an option. 2013 Neflix decided to do something about that, something TV channels had done before in the past, make their own original content they owned outright. Viewers didn't have to worry about House of Cards (the first Netflix original program) leaving netflix because this was a netflix show. This seemed like a pretty smart business move; instead of investing in licensed content that could one day leave the platform, invest in your own content that could stay forever. This seemed like an especially good idea since Disney started pulling their content off netflix and hulu in order to launch it's own streaming service. Disney's pitch for Disney Plus was "all of Disney's library in one place" (though that's not entirely true, Songs of the South, Teamo Supremo, Lloyd in Space, and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command just to name a few at the time of writing). They were also going to make some original movies and series. Once this proved to be successful (at least by some definitions), the other major media companies followed suit with NBC-Universal with Peacock, Viacom with Paramount Plus, Warner Brothers with HBO Max, Discovery with Discovery Plus, and others that have come and gone or I just don't really think about. It's also probably about time netflix and hulu started making their own content since many cable channels transitioned to mostly original or completely original programming at this point in their lives.

With this history recap, we are now at January 2023, every company has their own streaming service, Netflix is struggling to stay relevant, HBO Max was growing like crazy until it collapsed, paramount plus originals are airing on viacom cable channels, and people are predicting the streaming bubble to pop any day now. Here's my opinion on how we got here; the media companies put too much effort into original programs for their streaming services and not enough effort in their backlog. While streaming television is very similar to traditional television (people enjoy watching old stuff, but eventually they'll need something new), but there are some very major differences between how streaming is consumed vs how traditional television is consumed, most notably "on demand individual viewers that will likely watch an episode once and that's it." While there may be a new episode of Spongebob on Friday at 6 PM and Nickelodeon intended to air 3 episodes a day for the whole week, that only came out to 21 episodes in total. Then there's also the fact that all of these episodes were pre-selected, so when someone watched 3 episodes of Spongebob that day, everyone watched the same 3 episodes, and with everything being scheduled people watched the same episodes over and over again (I know that's how I am able to recite full episodes of Spongebob from memory, and how my mom can recite full episodes of the Brady Bunch from memory). Basically the choice was "watch this or nothing," so an original program got a lot more mileage since it wasn't a "one and done" deal since there wasn't really something else to watch; sure there were other channels, but it wasn't guaranteed that those would be showing something you wanted to watch (the age old "100 channels and nothing to watch").

So here's where I think the main "unsustainability of streaming" comes from. In the past if it cost $1,000,000 to make an episode of an original program, you could probably expect to get $2 worth of revenue from each viewer in the lifetime of them watching, so if at least 500,000 viewers consume the episode the episode breaks even, but this is including the repeat viewing on reruns and syndication revenue. On initial viewing, there might be $0.50 worth of revenue from the initial viewing, so if that episode was only shown once it would take 2,000,000 viewers for that episode to break even. Now here's the thing with streaming services, episodes are basically "only shown once;" sure, it's available all the time whenever the viewer wants, but I estimate that most users are just going to watch it once so that "lifetime revenue per viewer" is "just view once." Now here's where things get even crazier, with streaming services (especially ad-free ones), there aren't 8 minutes of advertisements that come out to $0.50 per viewer, streaming services are probably looking at $0.05-0.10 per view when distributed over the cost of the subscription, meaning it will take 10,000,000-20,000,000 viewers to break even with the episode. Now when you consider this is "per episode" and most series need at least 6 episodes per season, and people aren't guaranteed to keep watching, it's very easy to lose money on investing in original programs. This is basically why HBO Max imploded after Discovery bought Warner Brothers, Discovery said "we're losing money with all of this, might as well get the tax write off and make this an official loss." Sure, there's no real risk of Orange is the New Black leaving Netflix or Wandavision leaving Disney Plus because both companies own them in full, but it's going to take a lot more time for these shows to make money since they're basically "watch once and done," especially when that money is immediately put into a different original program, like what seems to be happening on a lot of these streaming services.

OK, so it's "completely unsustainable, streaming is going to die and we're going back to traditional TV," right? Well no, I believe that Hulu and probably Disney Plus isn't going anywhere, for one major reason, syndication. While Disney Plus promotes their originals and makes many, they only seem to make 1 or 2 originals a season and really promote their backlog, and while hulu has originals they are still very focused on syndicating other people's content, and this is why I think they're going to succeed. While 1 episode of Wandavision may cost Disney $3,000,000 to get on Disney Plus (mostly from making it), it costs Disney next to nothing to put an episode of Pepper Ann on Disney Plus (I know there are residuals, which was also part of HBO's problem, but there's no way it's anywhere near what it costs to make an episode of Wandavision), and from what I can tell Disney still very much is saying "come watch our pre-existing stuff that costs us nothing." Even on the low end of $0.05 per viewer per episode, if it only costs $5,000 to host that episode that only requires 100,000 views, and while there might not be THAT much of a draw to it than the original stuff, it's a lot easier to break even on that. If hulu spends $10,000,000 getting a series with 200 episodes, that's $5,000 per episode and with hulu being ad-supported it's probably more of the $0.10 per view, which only requires 50,000 viewers to break even. Hulu's home page will sometimes promote a new original, but it's pretty heavy "full series available, watch this syndicated program." If Warner Brothers didn't put all their money into originals and instead promoted all the backlog of shows they had, maybe they wouldn't have fallen apart. If Viacom would put more effort into promoting their completed catalogs instead of making so many originals, and maybe put some more older stuff like the theatrical shorts and cartoons they own (paramount was a turn of the 20th century movie house media company, and I know they're still good), maybe it would be more profitable.

Here's another problem with the original's business model, the cost is too much. Let's go back to early television, particularly animation since I'm pretty well versed in that. There were basically 2 types of cartoons that aired on TV back in the day, old theatrical short cartoons and original cartoons with VERY limited animation (think about Hanna-Barbara and how the walking cycles would loop and how only the lips would move). Bugs Bunny would have varied walk cycles, would do different moves, talk with his hands, and was expressive, then 30 minutes later Fred Flintstone would stand still while saying things, and recycle animation very obviously, and was generally stilted. Why, because the budget on those old theatrical shorts was much higher than that of the TV cartoons, but they still managed to make them entertaining through clever writing and good voice acting, and not to downplay those elements since 8 Crazy Nights has great animation but the writing and voice acting are not great in many people's eyes, but the quality there isn't necessarily directly proportional to the budget. Now this is only with my own personal experience, but a lot of the originals on these streaming platforms are of equal production value to that of conventional TV shows, or in the case of a lot of Disney Plus originals, higher than conventional TV shows. While The Mandeloreon, The Book of Bobba Fett, and Obi-Wan were a little more "story driven" than "effects driven," the effects were similar to that of the movies. The Peacock Original Bell Air seems to have a higher quality than the original Fresh Prince (Fresh Prince was a multi-camera sit-com that largely takes place in the Banks house, Bell Air is a single camera drama that seems to have many set-pieces from the single episode I've seen, so most likely more expensive). If these were done more cheaply, maybe it wouldn't be so unsustainable, but that's not the case.

Now my next point I don't know how important it is to the bottom line, but it could be a somewhat big thing, and that is syndication of the original programs. I've been saying "spend $1,000,000 to get the syndication rights to 100 episodes, which is good for the streaming service getting it since it doesn't take as many views to break even on it," but this also contributes to the original creator breaking even on the original investment. While Hulu may just need 100,000 views to make back the $1,000,000 investment on acquiring Regular Show, Cartoon Network made $1,000,000 off the whole of regular show with that purchase. I don't think syndication on hulu was part of Cartoon Network's business plan for Regular Show, but it none the less is. Since TBS was airing reruns of The Big Bang Theory while new episodes were airing on CBS, syndication was definitely part of it's plan. So now what about all these streaming originals? Where will they get syndicated to? As of right now, nowhere because that would defeat the purpose of having them. With streaming services, we have the same problem of why Disney Channel won't be airing Billy and Mandy, because Cartoon Network is a direct competitor to Disney Channel. We're also not able to have cross-network promotion like how Nickelodeon's Ren and Stimpy would sometimes air on MTV with them both being Viacom channels, because it's all a single streaming service (Disney Plus's Andor was on hulu for a little while, but with hulu essentially being a Disney owned streaming service at this point that's kind of like Ren and Stimpy on MTV, it wouldn't be on Peacock for example). I know a lot of paramount plus originals are airing on main cable channels, but that seems like it's more out of desperation to make money on them instead of "they ran their course on the streaming service, syndicate to the cable channels." It just doesn't seem like there's much of a life after first stream for a lot of these originals.

So this is my rambling on the business models of streaming services and why I think so many are struggling. I don't work for any of these big companies so I don't know any of this for sure, it's all speculation and I probably got a lot of the numbers wrong, but based on what's happened with some of these and news stories about "it's unsustainable, here's why all your favorite shows are being canceled by Netflix," and then seeing how free streaming like PlutoTV and Tubi are able to stay afloat despite licensing everything and not having any ties to a production studio (like Sony's crackle, they just stream various things owned by sony pictures), all I can really point to is the originals. Then I don't know about you, but I primarily watch the backlog content, so while I may enjoy some of the originals I'm going to stick around for the many hours of backlog content (I type this as I watch As Told By Ginger on Paramount Plus). Well this has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.