Many many reasons. Just read to find out.
If it's not a good game or catholic...who do you call?...why pokematic "Hi."
Why I don’t like the Wii. Hmmmmmmm, it boils down to a big letdown. Let me start out with how it was marketed. I had a subscription to Nintendo Power and they really made it look like it was the next best thing to sliced bread. It had Wii connect 24, mii’s, the virtual console, the weather channel, the photo channel, an internet browser, reverse compatibility with GameCube, and best of all, FULL MOTION CONTROLES!!!!!
Let me back up with some things. For starters Nintendo renamed Wi-Fi to Wii connect 24. I know a guy who, when I said, “cool, Wii’s got Wi-Fi,” he legit said “no it’s Wii connect 24.” “Yeah but you get it from a Wi-Fi signal.” “No Nintendo just gets it from like everywhere.” It’s Wi-Fi, we all know it, just like Steve Jobs calling the motherboard the logic board, it serves no purpose. But with the ds it’s Wi-Fi. Oh well let’s call it Wii connect 24 and eventually people will realize it’s just Wi-Fi.
The photo channel and weather channel were nice, useless gimmicks. What don’t agree with me? Ok maybe the weather was a little useful. This was back when smartphones were just starting to become popular and checking up on the weather before spending all day in side is a little useful, but the photo app was useless. Let me ask you this, how often do you pop your sd card into your wii so you can do whatever the photo channel can do? I know you can make stop motion videos, yeah I’ll just stick with movie maker since I can do stuff with it. Really, who uses that?
Now reverse compatibility with GameCube was nice. Sony and to an extent Microsoft have been reverse compatible since they released their second console and here we are at console number 5 and we finally get reverse compatibility; by no means a deal maker for me, but good for those who store their old consoles in the basement. I have all 10 of my consoles connected to 1 TV. No basement for my babies.
Virtual console was also a nice touch, but again no deal maker for me. I have every console that they have available on VC and then some. If I want an old Nintendo or Sega Genesis game, I’ll buy the original and play the way it was meant to be played. I’ve seen controller adapters for classic old school controllers, particularly NES and SNES, and from what I’ve heard they work great. But me, I prefer real carts.
Web browser, it’s a web browser. No real comment. It gets the job done for someone who just wants to screw around and surf the web. It’s got YouTube and is compatible with a keyboard. No deal maker, but definitely nice and would have enjoyed it.
Now the first major let down was the miis. This isn’t the fault of the developers, just Nintendo Power. Nintendo Power deceived me into believing that this was going to be kind of like the sims meets animal crossing’s family friendliness. The screen shots they used were of the miis walking around in their court yard. It never showed that that court yard was the entire environment they lived in. And the walking around, just that, no interactions. Then they kind of described them as sims with them gaining experience with some games. It wasn’t until I saw a demo that showed that all you can really do with them is use them as avatars in Wii sports, file pics in some games, make them look crazy, and then organize them. Congratulations Nintendo for bringing back segregation. Ok that’s a little extreme but that’s what the organization is based off of. I was expecting a sims, and I get a build an avatar. And let me point out, the creativity is lame. Microsoft did it right.
Now for the piece de resistance, the motion controls. All coverage talked about how awesome full motion controls will be. How “this is the first console to do full motion right.” Bull****! If the wii did full motion right the virtual boy did 3d right. The only games I can recall that use the full motion to its potential are stupid mini games, and trauma center. Trauma Center is the best game on the wii. I’ll have happy gamer cover that. But yeah, we get the tech demo Wii Sports with every Wii, and it uses the motion controls well. No substance, but who cares it’s just the tech demo. Well then other launch titles like tony hawks downhill jam and excite truck try but barely miss. Wario Ware uses it but again no real substance. And then after that motion sucks. WHAT!!!!!!!! You mean to tell me that the console that boasted motion controls doesn’t even fully utilize them? WHATTHEBUCK. And then some of the games have these weird motion controls like Marvel Ultimate Alliance. I’m just sitting there playing, and all the sudden, the camera starts acting weird. Wait so you mean to tell me that the control for the camera is in the tilt of the nunchuck. My hand isn’t doing anything with it so naturally it’s going to lay limp next to me on the couch while I move the stick with my thumb, but now I have to be worried about my arm going limp. Wow.
I have been bashing the wiiwii. Like I said, I subscribed to Nintendo Power, and they did a lot of coverage on the Revolution. Yes the revolution. Nintendo should have stuck with the name. Revolution much cooler than wii. We all know what a revolution is, but wii is just nonsense and just sounds stupid. Well NP will naturally do lots of coverage on the upcoming console from Nintendo. They did so much coverage and made it sound so cool. Look back in the review, so much blown out of proportion. It sounded so cool, with the bar set so high. My one friend who loves the Wii probably does because he didn’t have all the coverage and blown out of proportions that I have.
I also had a rather bad first, second, third; ok fourth, decent fifth, great sixth, and downhill from there until I couldn’t stand the thing. Thankfully I didn’t waste any money on the damn thing. I had a friend who got one, and then talked about how great it was and made me play it. He praised all the flaws I saw. Sucked the fun out of otherwise maybe decent games with his “my way to play is the right way” attitude. Generally killed any hopes of me enjoying it. Granted my hated came about at the beginning, but quite frankly there wasn’t much to it.
What would I categorize as the worst game, Boogie. Boogie is by far the worst game I have ever had the misfortune of playing on the wii, and maybe ever. We all know the commercials, where the monster was dancing similar to the motions in the controls, then the girl sings into a mic. Commercial below.
Then they went on to have it as the intro to the game. For starters, the songs suck. Plain and simple, the songs suck. A music game with bad songs is a bad game. I think there was 1 decent song, but that doesn’t constitute the $30 price tag or something. Ok so maybe the songs suck, but maybe the motion controls will save it. I mean look at how good those controls look. Well again, they suck. What is it? Well instead of the cool controls we see in the commercial, we have to move the controller up, down left and right in time with the music. (Takes time to look at skin) I am a white boy with no beat. On what planet am I going to be able to score any points in a game that requires me to keep time? I’m able to do fairly well at DDR and Guitar Hero because they tell me what to do. The notes and beats scroll across the screen as I play. Boogie on the other hand, just says “here’s the song, now wave in time on beat without any indication of where the beat is because we’re all gifted with beat.” I think I played through half a song and didn’t score one point. The only dance I can do is the Macarena, and that’s because I spent many years studying it. And while I’m on it, there’s no customization on how the characters dance. They all break dance. I want my guy to dance like a white boy like me. I don’t want to see my avatar breakdance off beat. That’s just stupid. Now maybe if there were some good tracks the karaoke feature could salvage just a portion of this game, but no one wants to sing along with crappy songs.
Well thank-you for reading this. This has been Pokematic signing off and bu-bye.
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