How I would Improve Star Wars Episode 9

If it's not a good game or catholic...who do you call?...why Pokematic "hi."

So Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise of Skywalker is a terrible movie, I reviewed it here and was nicer than I should have been, because after letting it settle more I really hate it. Others have done a better job than I explaining why it's bad, but the main problem I want to talk about is "bringing back Palpatine, that'll solve everything." I know JJ was in a bind after Ryan decided to throw out all the foundation that JJ laid for him, and JJ thought Palpatine was his only choice, but I have a much better way of "gluing back together what Ryan shattered." I'll handle this point by point of what Ryan broke, what JJ thought he was doing with Palpatine, and how I would solve this.

But first, why is it bad to bring Palpatine back to life. In Episode 6 Return of the Jedi, Vader throws Palpatine down the reactor shaft, thus rejecting evil and redeeming himself to bring balance to the force. It's a major sacrifice since it costs him his life, and is the entire arc of Annikin, from fall to redemption. By bringing Palpatine back to life, it renders the events of episode 1-6 completely worthless. There have been many other people who explain it in greater detail, but this is the probably the biggest reason.

OK, so the first reason JJ brought back Palpatine is because Rey needs lineage. In episode 7 if was strongly hinted at that Rey's parents were something special, and that's why she is so naturally talented with the force, and who her parents were would be revealed in future films. Then in episode 8 it's revealed that her parents are nobodies because Ryan wanted to subvert expectations. JJ was probably going to establish them as "grand jedi that left the order" or something like that, and then that would play into her arc, but then Ryan said "nope, she's just special because anyone could be special." JJ was now stuck with "OK, I still need to make her descended from someone, and they have to be already established, and it would have to be from the prequels since a grandparent would be from that generation, guess I'll go with Palpatine since Jedi back then were celibate." Here's how I would fix this, make her a descendent of Qui-Gon Jinn. How would this be possible? Qui-Gon is a gray jedi, while he is loyal to the light side of the force, he does not subscribe to all of the teachings of the current jedi way (case in point, training Annikin even though he is too old). While it is the rules for Jedi to be celibate so they can fully commit to being a Jedi and not let emotional ties cloud their judgement (like what happened with Annikin and his mom and Padme), I can imagine Qui-Gon having a 1 night stand with someone without it corrupting his judgement. Like, if Qui-Gon saved some leader on an assignment and their custom was "when our leader is saved by a powerful worrier, we insist that said worrier mates with a woman from our tribe so that their genes would be passed on and make our society stronger, here are examples of other worrier savior descendants that had no emotional involvement from their father that helped keep us safe," and Qui-Gon saying "it is against the Jedi code to form emotional attachments to others, but my mission is to establish the future safety of this city and if this is how you deem necessary then I will assist."

Now how does this tie into the events of Episode 9? The big problem Rey has is she has no direction, and is conflicted about her lineage. Her master Luke is dead, her father figure Han is dead, Leia isn't a good teacher and is distant (because of real world complications), Rey needs guidance as to how to handle her power and no one can help. This is where Qui-Gon comes in. It's been established that dead Jedi can return as ghosts and provide guidance for those whom they have a connection with and need the guidance, and Qui-Gon can come to Rey as a ghost when she is in a fit of rage and confusion. I imagine the scene like this.

Rey is on some barren land, yelling and swinging her light saber yelling "why!!!!?? WHO AM I!!!???" or something similar.

She hears a voice "no one said the path of the Jedi would be easy"

"Who's there!?"

She turns around and there is a force ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Hello Rey, my name is Qui-Gon Jinn, and I am your grandfather."

Rey: What!? But how!?

Qui-Gon: When I was on assignment many years ago, your grandmother bore my child as part of their goal to make their village stronger. That child was your father. Before I could check on your father's force sensitivity, I was killed by Darth Maul while protecting Padme Amadala, the mother of Luke and Leia. Through the force I checked on your father, but he didn't have strong force sensitivity and therefore never became a Jedi. While he may not have been strong in the force, his child was, you Rey. And that is why I am able to talk to you now."

From then on Qui-Gon helps train Rey and we see what a truly wise in force training master can do. He helps Rey understand her powers, helps her quide her mind, and teaches her what he did and gives her a lineage to be proud of. This wouldn't have the same "lengthy process" as other movies like Luke learning from Ben and Yoda, but Liam is skilled in the art of training montages. This also gives us the opportunity to learn more about Qui-Gon, a Jedi who is very complex but who is also not well understood.

OK, next reason for Palpatine coming back is because we need a supreme evil that seduces Kylo and for him to reject and have a redemption. In episode 7 we get Snoke, a sith lord who teaches Kylo the ways of the dark side, whom we haven't heard anything about until now. OK, but maybe he's someone and we'll find out who in episode 8, and then Kylo rejects him in episode 9 like Vader did Palpatine. Nope, Ryan kills off Snoke and has Kylo say "I will rule the galaxy, and I want you as my partner Rey." OK, now how is JJ going to have Kylo reject ultimate evil if the ultimate evil is already killed? "Uhhhh, Palpatine was evil and super powerful, I'll make it so he survives." Here's how I would change it, Kylo doesn't get a redemption arc, he dies evil. It's hard, I know, but bear with me. Palpatine didn't just "come into existence as the most powerful sith lord," he could have been a light Jedi, but was trained as a sith lord by his master either by choice or by force (though I think it was by choice). Count Duku was a respected Jedi master before turning to the dark side, and I get the impression he chose it after seeing the power of the dark side. Kylo Ren does not trust the Jedi after Luke tried to murder him, and he very clearly turned to the dark side by choice, and was given multiple opportunities to reject it but didn't (killed his dad, killed his Sith master but chose to stay sith, probably others I'm forgetting or weren't shown), just keep him a Sith at this point. Sure, Annikin did a lot of bad things (he kills a bunch of children), but at the end of Episode 3 you can tell he has a lot of reservations about it (he's crying in that one scene, he says "it's OK Padme, I'll kill Palpatine and we can live together in harmony, without worrying about the Jedi." He only turned to the dark side because of Padme and was distraught when he couldn't save her. Kylo went to the dark side because he wanted to, and because he thought he had to finish what Vader started. He doesn't need a redemption, just make him evil. This has the added benefit of "not being a rehash of the original trilogy" since Kylo rejecting Palpatine is the same thing Vader did in episode 6.

Making Kylo fully committed to the dark side also gives us the opportunity to REALLY have him reject good, and fix a universe hole. Kylo's whole thing is "I want to finish what my grandfather started." His grandfather is Darth Vader, Annikin Skywalker. There's a scene in Episode 9 where Han comes back as a ghost and gives Kylo one last father-son heart to heart to bring him back, and that doesn't make any sense since Han isn't a Jedi, "so maybe it was a hallucination." Here's the problem, Kylo does not respect Han, he kills him as an act of evil to make him a true Sith. Han wouldn't reach Kylo since he has no remorse for it. Kylo doesn't respect anyone because they'll just get in his way of ruling the galaxy, except for one person. As I said, Kylo idolizes his grandfather, Darth Vader. He's doing all of this "because I need to finish what Vader started." Instead of having "maybe ghost, maybe hallucination Han," have Darth Vader come to Kylo as a force ghost. Here's the scene.

Kylo is building up his forces, getting ready for the final attack on the resistance, talking to Vader's chard helmet.
"At last grandfather, I will finish what you started, the galaxy will belong to us."

James Earl Jones voice: "that is not what I wanted."

Kylo startled turns around to find force Darth Vader in his black suit that Kylo idolizes. "Grandfather?"

JEJ: I did not turn to the dark side to so that I may rule the galaxy

Vader takes off his helmet to reveal Haden Christensen Annikin: I turned to the dark side so that I could stop your grandmother from dying in childbirth, but ultimately I was the one who killed her because I turned to the dark side. I only set out on galactic conquest because it was the path of master Palpatine and he was the only family I had left. Over the years I was corrupted by the dark side and was only saved by your uncle Luke Skywalker, my son."

Kylo: But master Luke tried to kill me grandfather!

Haden: But he chose not to. You didn't narrowly escape, he decided not to kill you. He didn't know how to control your power alone and was scared. His fear lead to anger, his anger lead to hate, and now his hate has lead to suffering, your suffering. The dark side says it has the answers to your problems, but it's not.

Kylo: I?...No, you are wrong. You may not have had the vision, but I do. I will rule the galaxy and finish what you were too scared to.

Haden: Then you are lost grandson. This will not end well for you. *Fades away*

That right there is fully within the rules of the universe (fallen Jedi can come back as ghosts, and Annikin came back to at the end of episode 6), and gives Kylo some REAL conflict.

OK, big climatic fight scene, Rey now trained by Qui-Gon battles fully evil Kylo Ren. Maybe beforehand Rey wants to bring Kylo back to good, maybe at the suggestion of Luke (he did for Vader), but Annikin tells her otherwise, and Qui-Gon is unsure of what the right decision might be. Then in the fight when Rey is down, Annikin in a voice over is telling Kylo "stop, this is not what I wanted" and then maybe Palpatine as a ghost voice says "hahahaha, Vader was weak, but you are strong, you will complete what he finished." He might be a little torn, but he's definitely going for bad. Then Qui-Gon in a voice over says "Rey, you are a Jinn, quide your mind, feel don't think." Rey closes her eyes and quides her mind, and instinctually pushes Kylo off her and deals a death blow. When she comes to she realizes what she's done, but is comforted by Qui-Gon and Annikin, Annikin saying "he was too far gone, fully consumed by the dark side like my master Palpatine," and Qui-Gon saying "and my master Duku, it is never easy to kill, I always had troubles when I was forced to do it, but being able to do the hard things is the true mark of the Jedi." Maybe not exactly like that, but it would be something to comfort her.

Maybe Rey gives Kylo a Jedi cremation, and then as Kylo is burning Annikin and Qui-Gon stand behind her as ghosts, and then Luke and Leia show up next to them, and then Yoda, Alec Guinness's Ben Kenobi (or Ewan Gordon McGregor's Obi-Wan if there's a problem with Alec's likeness), Mace Windu, and Asoka, stand behind them, and then other Jedi on the counsel and in the background show up all giving Rey silent approval. You can keep the final scene of Rey burying Luke's light saber, and the lady asking her "who are you," but instead of "Rey, Rey Skywalker," just have her say "Rey Jinn." That would also fix all the "she's not really a Skywalker, she's stealing the valor," since she really is a Jinn by blood and after the training by skill.

Don't like "Rey is a Jinn and Kylo is truly evil," OK leave everything the same and make JarJar the Sith lord. "JarJar is a Sith lord" is a "respected" fan theory. I say "respected" because it has somewhat far reach, and isn't just one guy's fan fiction.

Make JarJar a sith lord, have him give some monologue about how "it was all an act, the fan theory is true, and now I'm going to finish what Palpatine was unable to complete, and Rey is somehow my granddaughter," you got something. You still have a pre-established character, one whom everyone hates and would enjoy seeing him die, and you don't have to ruin Vader's redemption by bringing Palpatine back. There would still be a lot of problems, but at that point the movie is almost satire and I think people would be able to at least laugh at it.

I know it's not a perfect plot fix, and this is honestly a first draft (because that's how I generally write blogs), but I've been thinking about this for a while and I think this makes episode 9 much better. Well this has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.

Pokematic Reviews Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise of Skywalker

If it's not a good game or catholic...who do you call?...why Pokematic "hi."

Star Wars the Rise of Skywalker, the final movie in the Skywalker story, and one that has the difficult job of fixing all the damage that Last Jedi did. Yes, I know in my review of Last Jedi I called it "pretty good," but I was blinded by the uniqueness and in denial of how bad it was. No, Last Jedi was bad. Not Solo bad, but there was a lot of irreversible damage to the series that could not be repaired. There have been many people better than I who have gone in depth onto why Last Jedi is bad (MauLer, RedLetterMedia, and Robot Foot come to mind). So I'm going to get this out of the way and state the obvious, this is not a "perfect movie," because it is impossible for this to be a "perfect movie" after what Last Jedi did. I'd go so far as to say it's impossible for Episode 9 to be a "great movie" after the complete destruction of the Star Wars foundation that happened with Last Jedi. Even Orson Welles, Stanley Kubrick, and Quentin Tarantino working together in perfect harmony to deliver the best movie ever couldn't fully bring Rise of Skywalker beyond "well I guess this is the best that could be done given what they had to work with." So bear that in mind when I say "JJ did the best he could given what he had to work with." I'm going to keep this as spoiler free as I can, but there's only so much I can go with.

First and maybe most important, Rey was turned into an ACTUAL character and not a Marry Sue, as best she could. In Episode 8 (and to an extent Episode 7), Rey is just "naturally gifted in the force, she doesn't need to struggle and grow and is boring," (at least that's how the criticism goes, which I agree with to an extent). Now obviously Rey can't "unlearn everything and have a real Jedi training," but there was still room for growth and struggle, and JJ finds a way for Rey to have a struggle, be conflicted, stumble (literally and figuratively), and I think it works, as best it can. JJ finds an interesting way to make "Marry Sue Rey" into a flaw that she must overcome. As Dr Ian Malcolm said, "it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox and now you're selling it you want to sell it." That I think is the best way to describe Rey's short character arc without spoiling what happened specifically. JJ takes the unearned power Rey has and uses it to build a conflict.

Next, there's a far better overall conflict. While Episode 7 was "lets blow-up the death star" and Episode 8 was "slow moving resources race with some weird political commentary on the economics of war, with Rey not needing Luke's training," Episode 9 was "the First Order is on the rise, the Resistance is on their last hope, it's up to our team to save the day, for realz though." None of this "retell episode 4" or "tell a bad story just to subvert expectations" nonsense. It's really a return to "good guys good, bad guys bad, there is pure evil and there is redemption," which is welcomed because I couldn't deal with another "the bad guys are also the good guys because capitalism is profit."

Another great character building is all the "neutered" characters have returned to their greatness. Poe is respected and not told "sit down and shut up, the grown-ups are talking." Luke isn't a grouchy old hermit that just wants to die (ghost Luke was fully reformed and is the wise old man we wanted him to be). We even see some unexpected returns that REALLY add to the story and do the best they can to redeem themselves after Ryan tried to destroy them.

Now there is a bit of an elephant in the room, and that is Leia. I don't remember who said it (I think it was Midnight's Edge, but I can't find the right video), but I remember hearing "the original plan for Episode 9 was Leia would be the one to complete Rey's training, but with Carrie Fisher passing they had to craft a story around alternate shots and bloopers from previous films." Uuuuuuggghhhhhhh, yeahhhhh, with how few lines and little screen time Leia has you can tell a lot of creative editing had to be done. Again, "they did the best they could with what little they had." I remember someone saying "if they did reshoots of episode 8 to make it so Luke lives and Leia dies after Marry Poppins'ing herself out of space, they wouldn't be in the predicament they forced themselves into." And it's true, you can tell Leia was meant to have a large part in the story but they had very little to work with. I think they did a pretty decent job, I've had to change my vision for short films that didn't pan out how I wanted due to actor conflicts, and while it would have been better to reshoot some things in Episode 8 to kill Leia instead, Ryan left a smoldering pile of you know what for JJ to work with, so it's really the best that could have been done.

Now for action scenes. They were pretty good. I kept my eye on the choreography to see if there would be another "guard fighting the air" bit, and there wasn't from what I could tell. The climatic battle at the end, really entertaining. The back and forth Rey and Kylo have with fighting, really good. What I think I liked most about them is they were more "fights of will and conviction" similar to that of the lightsaber battles of the original trilogy. A lot of critics and analysts have pointed out that the lightsaber battle between Vader and Obi-wan was more taunting and a battle of the mind given weight by the lightsabers, and the same can be said for the fight between Luke and Vader in Episode 6 where more words were said than lightsaber swings. While I definitely enjoy the high energy fights of the prequels, those only really work when it's not "we have loads of character tension between us, we need to talk it out," (Darth Maul said 2 lines, he's just evil and that's all you need to know, Duku is a bad guy and there's no changing his position, Anikin and Obi-wan are young men in their prime and Anikin's rage is at it's boiling point and needs to be released physically, and everyone wants to kill each other). Rey and Kylo are all about trying to turn each other, they don't necessarily want to kill each other, so their fights (along with other fights Rey has) are more talking than fisticuffs. All the action is really good with how it does things.

There's also the overall tone of the movie. Whereas Last Jedi wanted to be "super serious" while also "lulz we're not that serious, here's some jokes," to the point where it was tonal whiplash, Rise of Skywalker had a pretty consistent tone. Yes, there were lighter moments and instances of comedy, but it never really broke the tension because it was done in such a way that it was a failed attempt at breaking the tension, which is how pretty much every other movie was (except for Episode 1, which is probably the most light hearted of the movies because it takes place before the real rise of the sith). One other thing with tone that, while consistent, still caught me off guard, was the swearing. There are like 5 instances of mild profanity (damn and hell), which wouldn't feel out of place unless you're a super fan like me that has basically memorized all the scripts of episodes 1-6 and knows the only other time even mild profanity was used was when Dex said "they're cloners, damn good ones too" in Attack of the Clones. While it's not "bad," it's just "unexpected" (this is how you "subvert expectations" properly).

Now don't get the wrong idea and think "this is all good." The main thing that comes to mind is how Kylo was handled. Throughout the movies I never really bought "he is evil, just confused." He always kind of came off as a "Prince Zuko" kind of bad guy, where "he wants to be an antagonist, but doesn't feel like he's doing it because it's his only option and doesn't REALLY want to be bad." In Avatar the Last Airbender, Zuko was bad because he's a fire bender and he needs to get the avatar to restore his honor, but it isn't fully committed to being evil. I really got that impression in Episode 7 when he threw tantrums and wore the helmet "because he wants to honor his grandfather," and it seemed like Snoke was the puppet master. Then in episode 8 the discussions between him and Rey really felt "I'm not really evil, just confused" (which was really amplified with Luke "I'm going to kill him in his sleep" Skywalker). Now in episode 9, I still can't take him seriously. I don't believe that he is the leader of the first order and he built this because of his charisma; rather he feels like a trust fund kid that wants to impress his dad but doesn't really know how. JJ kind of tries to explain that away with the new villain he introduces (after Ryan kills Snoke off for no real reason), but this is once again "the best he could do," and I can't place the blame on Ryan for this one since it goes all the way back to Episode 7.

Which brings me to the new villain. While this is a really good villain that managed to retcon the nonsense of Episode 8 killing Snoke, he comes out of nowhere and is really confusing. Like, "wait, he was the puppet master all along, and he fits into all of this without having any noticeable influence so far." I mean, maybe after rewatching episode 7 and 8 I could find some hints, maybe, but seeing that I know Ryan threw out JJ's road map for the sequel trilogy, and it's pretty clear JJ threw out Ryan's direction after episode 8, but this really came out of left field and "was the best way they could explain away the problems of episode 8." I don't necessarily "hate" this direction since it was a pretty awesome climax, but it definitely feels "unearned."

There's also the final scene. As nice of a scene it was, it feels "unearned." I won't go into why it specifically feels unearned, because that would be spoiler, but it feels more like raw fan service without actually needing to be there. It ties up a thread that wasn't actually loose, and probably should have remained untied.

Overall, I think it's worth matine price, or at least a redbox rental just to see how it concludes. It's not the best movie out there, and I wouldn't blame you for wanting to skip it. I know I did after how badly I was burned on Solo, and Last Jedi retroactively. However, it's kind of like Aquaman and Wonder Woman, where they technically are part of the Snyderverse of DC movies, but they realize the Snyderverse is trash and do the bare minimum to acknowledge that and try to exist on their own. What I really want is for the fan editors of the world to make an "Episode 8/2, The Real Jedi," where it's like 30 minutes of things that are crucial to the events of Episode 9 (and maybe some battle scenes), but remove all the "subverting expectations" and other character destroying malarkey, because I really would be happy if we could all completely forget that Last Jedi happened. Anyway, this has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.

Random end card other thought, before the movie there was a trailer for "Free Guy," a movie about a videogame NPC that decides he's going to be a hero, or something. It's a Ryan Reynolds action comedy movie that's being released under 20th Century Fox, and they said "from the same studio that brought you Beauty and the Beast remake, Aladdin remake, and Lion King remake," since those were all under the Disney brand. It looks like a funny movie.