Should I Buy My Child a Cell Phone? Maybe

Hello catholiccontriversy and one question every modern parent must ask themselves is "should I buy my child a cell phone?" Given today's connected world and how affordable it is to add a second line, the question isn't "should I buy," but "when should I buy?" While I myself am not a parent who is dealing with this question, I was a child that received my first cell phone before I was 18 and saw how it impacted me and my peers. I'm not going to say "my way is the right way," but this was the right way for me, and my parents. Your situation may be different, but I will do my best to explain my situation and some situations of my friends to help you make an informed decision.

Before you ask "when?" you must first ask "why?" Why am I buying my child a cell phone? In my opinion, the opinion of my parents, and many of my friends parents, the only reason you should buy your kid a cell phone is so you have a direct line to them and they have a direct line to you. You are buying a cell phone so they can contact you or the adult in charge if needed. You are not buying it so they can text their friends, or play pokemon go, or anything else. I'm not saying they CAN'T do any of those extra things; but the only reason I would buy my child a cell phone, the only reason my parents bought my brother and I cell phones, and the reason my friend's parents bought him a cell phone, was so that they could easily contact us as needed. I did use my cell phone to talk and text my friends and cousins, but the primary use was so I could call my mom when I got home from school, let her know I made it to the library all right, and that it was time to come back to the food court to go home after spending the afternoon at the mall. I'm not saying that this has to be the reason you have to buy your kid a cell phone, but this is the reason I would buy my kid a cell phone, and this is the reason my parents bought me a cell phone.

So now that we've answered "why," I have the answer for "when." So when should you buy your kid a cell phone? The exact age is different for everyone, but to go back to why, it's when you need to have the peace of mind that you have a direct line of contact to your kid when they do more stuff on their own. I got my first cell phone when I was 13 before I went on my school's trip to Washington D.C., because my parents wanted the peace of mind knowing that if I got separated from the group, I had an easy way to contact my chaperone. And before that trip, my parents added a 3rd line that my brother and I would take with us when we went to the city pool or similar on our own. For one of my friends, it was when he was 9 because he would walk home alone and would be home alone for 3 hours before his parents got home, and they felt better knowing that he could call the or they could call him if there was an emergency, or just to check in. For another friend, it was when he was 14 when his parents needed to pick him up from marching band practice. Even in college, my parents would want me to send a quick text message to say I made it back to school safely. Wanting a direct line to your kids doesn't make you a "helicopter parent," it actually makes you a pretty responsible parent.

So now the question is, "what?" What phone should I get my kid? This kind of depends on your plan, but my rule of thumb is "not a smart phone." I'm not saying it has to be a "90s Nokia that can only talk and play snake," or even a "only can talk" flip phone, but I highly recommend against a smart phone. Why? Because it's unnecessary. Remember, you are presumably buying a your kid/teen a phone so they can contact you. Obviously you need talk, but texting is very convenient for a simple "I'm here safe" and "come pick me up" and "come back to the meeting location," so if you have unlimited texting, yest let them in on your texting plan. However, in most cases, the only use someone under 18 would have for a smart phone is for "fun;" facebook, twitter, snapchat, games, etc. I'm not saying there is never a reason for a minor to have a smart phone; for example, my one friend was diagnosed with diabetes at 16, and her parents bought her a smart phone because it could be pared with her blood-glucose meter, insulin pump, and look up nutritional information that isn't easily available like at movie theaters. However, most of the teens I knew in high school used their smart phones for facebook and youtube. Except for rare instances like my friend with diabetes, kids and teens do not need the constantly internet connected device. Heck, I at 23 don't have a smart phone. I still rock a full keyboard dumb phone. I'm also not alone. A fair amount of my friends at college had full keyboard or flip dumb phones. I also knew a couple of people that upgraded to smart phones, and wanted to go back because they didn't like the connectivity. While dumb phones are not as common, and the options are pretty limited, you can still get a dumb phone for your kid. Dumb phones are durable, and pretty inexpensive. I think my Samsung Intensity 3 was $50, I've been pretty rough with it, and it still works without problems. That sure beats a $400 smart phone that gets a cracked screen with 1 drop. Your kid would have to actively try to beak a dumb phone, and even then they will have some difficulty.

With this in mind, I understand the appeal of smart phones. If your TEEN (not kid, I don't think anyone under 13 needs to have the internet at their fingertips, especially since it is very difficult to monitor one's children's internet use when it's on a 6 inch screen that they can lock you out of) and you have a good data plan, then there is a way to let your teen have a smart phone responsibly, and teach some responsibility and the value of a dollar at the same time. If your teen pays for the smart phone, and doesn't use more than an equal share of the data without paying for the extra data, then this is their purchase, and they will learn the value of a dollar if they don't already.

So for a quick recap:
Why buy your kid a cell phone? Because you as their parent want an easy way to contact them.
When should you buy your kid a cell phone? When you need the peace of mind of being able to easily contact them when they become more independent.
What phone should you buy? In most cases not a smart phone. However, if your teen will be an adult about it and pay for the luxury on their own, then it may be OK for them to have a smart phone.

Again, every situation is different. I'm not saying "this is how you should raise your kid." It really comes down to what is right for you and your family. However, this is my experience as someone who got a cell phone as a teen and whose friends also got phones. I hope this helps you make an informed decision. This has been catholiccontriversy, signing off, and may God bless you.